Me & Geraldine

I feel like I can’t have any of the nice things I want.

Written out, that sounds childish as shit, right? It does.

But it still feels this way sometimes.

I have been telling my pals that I just want to be rich enough to buy my toilet paper based on which package has the cutest animal on it. But that’s not true, or not only.

I also want lots of other things:

• To know I will make rent & to be able to put whatever I need in the grocery cart without worrying.
• To be able to take days off work to see friends or family and still be able to pay bills.
• To not worry about money before calling in sick.
• To be able to afford to make ethical/handmade purchasing choices more often.
• To be able to help pay for a car so that I can get to the country to take my dog for hikes.
• & also all the books and yarn and shoes and jewellery and pets
• & a retirement fund – or even a savings account.
• All my friends within visiting distance!
• A time machine that will let me bring my boyfriend home for an hour of snuggling.

Noodles with local strawberries.

I don’t know how to shut off that list in my head.

But I do know that it isn’t the only story.

Here is a recipe idea for you from a day that I thought I had no food in the house:

Pasta from my freezer. Sautéed with onion & yellow peppers & strawberries & balsamic vinegar. Topped with avocado.

Tasty & filled with all the food colours. It turned out that I didn’t need anything I didn’t have already. This happens all the time.

I just caught myself writing my to-do list with a pink glitter pen which perfectly matches my pink glitter manicure. I don’t have everything & even though some important things are missing, I have enough to get by.

Today what I needed was to sit in the sun on my front lawn with my dog leaning against me, reading a book, drinking a café au lait and watching bees hover around the clover. All these things are already at my disposal.

The hard part is remembering about it.

I have been feeling social-inspiration-internet-burnout real hard. Closing my pinterest-tumblr-twitter windows helps. Opening my actual real windows – you know, where the sun and breezes come in – that’s even better.