Health At Every Size. How To?
Fat Babe by Natalie Perkins
I try to live by some version of a “Health at every size” type of ideal.
Everyone has their own take on what exactly this entails, but the most basic aspect is to emphasize the fact that health is not determined by a person’s physical size or weight. You can be healthy and fat, or skinny, or whatever.
Health at every size is an antidote to fat-shaming. This philosophy of approaching health should also shed compassionate light on unhealthy behaviours that people use to become thinner or to stay thin. Health at every size is meant to prioritize physical & mental health over weight loss or normative beauty standards. It’s meant to shut down fatphobic bullshit.
The point is that all bodies are inherently valid.
The point is that there are a whole lot of sexy fat people out there.
On the “don’t give a fuck” method.
People have a right to just not give a fuck about their health, about their weight, about looking hot – the whole deal. No one has an obligation to themselves or their partners or society or to anyone to strive for “health.” There is no perfect definition of what “healthy” means & trying to define it would likely be super ableist in any case. Everyone has the right to not give a fuck about their appearance, their weight, their health. Okay?
I’ve been trying to separate myself from normative standards about what my body should look like & the surrounding baggage about what I should eat & how I should exercise & how much time and money and brain space I should devote to that.
I have no diet rules & no exercise plan. As a big “fuck you” to the patriarchy & ableism I have been eating whatever & doing whatever & I expected my body to make it work. Except, well, it’s not working.
On mental health & fatness.
Not giving a fuck is not working so great for my health anymore. It was the right decision in the middle of seasonal depression season, when wanting to eat all of the carbs was an actual depression symptom & I didn’t have the energy to prepare even basic meals. My antidepressants radically improved my well-being but also caused weight gain & sugar cravings. I happily accepted that trade-off.
I told myself then that the most important thing was getting out of bed & being able to do the things I wanted to do with my life. I told myself, “who gives a shit if you get fatter?” I told myself I would work on healthy eating & exercise when I wasn’t depressed all the time.
I did get fatter. I’m supposed to be cool with that, right? Did you see all the stuff I wrote at the beginning of this post about being cool with that? Politically, I’m cool with that. Day-to-day, I work on being cool with that.
j. bee is Too Jacked for Sleeves
I still wanna feel healthy, no matter what my size is.
Because right now I feel kinda shitty, actually. I want to be more flexible, and stronger. I want to have more energy & feel more alert. Everyone and their mom will tell you that exercise can work to treat depression & I absolutely do want a piece of that action. I want to be able to go jogging with my dog. I want to be able to open jars by myself. I want to be able to help lift the heavy furniture when we move. I want to have super acrobatic marathon sex, if I feel like it.
And my pizza + coffee + beer diet is obviously not making that happen.
I want to make some changes but I’m not sure how. Healthy lifestyle behaviours are so similar to dieting behaviours, & the feminist, fat activist part of me wants no part of trying to lose weight or dieting or whatever.
I want to be able to pay attention to my health without getting fucked up about it.
Keeping track of my eating makes me start feeling like all food is unhealthy, no matter what it is, & then I don’t eat anything. Going to the gym means being immersed in this environment that is filled with this palpable & desperate feeling of body hatred. I don’t want a personal trainer to measure my body fat & I don’t want to take “before” photos & the thought of being a chubby lady trying to figure out how to use fitness equipment in front of a bunch of brawny, sexist bro dudes makes me feel like I am going to puke.
I have a lot of worries:
- I used to pay for a gym membership, tell myself I would go, and then not go. That’s an expensive ticket to shitty self-esteem land that I don’t want to buy.
- What if paying more attention to health is too hard & complicated & I get more depressed?
- What if people in the change room at the gym see me naked?
- If exercise makes me thinner, will I start getting catcalled?
- If exercise makes me thinner, will my internalized fatphobia come back?
- Will I embarrass myself trying to figure out weight machines or in fitness class?
- Will I suddenly be surrounded by body snark & judgemental douchebags?
- Will I still have time to do all the other shit that I love?
- Will I have to keep anything I do a secret so as not to invalidate the bodies or choices of my loved ones and pals?
Day 103: Lucky Jackson Resolves in thread to go to derby practice…
It’s possible to find empowerment and strength through exercise.
I know because people I trust tell me. I know because of reading blog posts like this one, from Queer Fat Femme. Damien Luxe talks about why she loves the gym:
I’ve found that while working out is the time my mind crystallizes ideas [like this blog post] and when I get home I actually have the energy and focus to implement said ideas. In my time at the gym sometimes I get really frustrated and sometimes I hit walls of sorrow and sometimes I get fucking pissed that I have to do so much goddamn work to achieve a state of resilience. But, I keep going because the payoff is so real and the stakes are so high: I want to live in my body, and I want to feel strong. I work out with one goal: to be strong. I have a mantra I remind myself of when I am tired and don’t feel like pushing on: that I have not met everyone I will want to be strong for yet, and I have not done everything I can with my body.
Pretty much, I need fat-positive critical strategies around healthy lifestyle stuff. Resources for better health that aren’t triggering, shaming, and belittling are scarce. So I thought I’d ask:
What are your healthy self-care habits & routines? Do you have trusted exercise partners, cookbooks, exercise dvds, food blogs? I wanna know.
Tell me about your little habits or big changes. What makes you feel awesome and energizes you? I am a lapsed modern dancer, a slow cyclist, a dog walker. Well, really, as a non-driver, I’m pretty much an everywhere walker, right? I like a good stretch. What do you do? Are there any critical femme jocks in the house?
Perhaps as importantly, what don’t you do? What turned out to not be worth it? To be too problematic? To be a too expensive? To be a major bummer?
I want to start out with some small changes & as much free, fun exercise as I can discover. If you know me in real life, join me! Invite me to some shit. Come over to my house & I’ll cook all the vegetables. Come on out for a dog walk or three. Let’s make this shit pleasurable, okay?
Links I love:
- I didn’t know how to write this post until I read Katie West’s “Real Talk: My Body.”
- j. bee at Sassyfrass Circus posts outfit photos taken in the family change room at the gym.
- j. bee is Too Jacked for Sleeves!
- About Fat Acceptance at Definatalie. Also read her post I Keep Moving about the fear of being harassed while exercising & the struggle of finding exercise clothes that fit fat bodies.
- Queer Fat Femme Guest Post: Damien Luxe on Why She Loves the Gym. Lots of discussion about exercise & class. I want to read similar posts from all sorts of people.
- Zinecore radio #21: Get fit for the pit! Interview with Nicole Harris, who writes a zine of the same name.
- Fat from the side is an awesome fat-positive resource. “Fat, From The Side is a project meant to familiarize and empower. Our bodies are all amazing, from every angle.”
- Fuck Yeah VBO. “Plus-sized fashion often focuses on flattening, smoothing, and concealing fat bodies. FYeahVBO aims to counteract that by making the belly just another part of the outfit, not something to be hidden or disguised.”
- I really wanna get my hands on this zine: FIT: A Zine about sports, fatness, feminism, and disability(zine) Andrea deBruijn.
- Jae Steele blogs at Domestic Affair & I like her cookbooks a lot. Super tasty plant-based recipes & lots of health info with no weight loss language. She’s vegan but I’m not telling you that you should be.
33 Responses to “Health At Every Size. How To?”
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- - 29/08/2012
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- - 01/09/2012
Iris, you\’re so awesome.
As I recently posted on g*, I am in the middle of a big, dumb food crisis myself. I\’m still working on that. I really believe that the food choices I am making/want to make are right for me and my body and my goals for my physicality as I get older – which are to maintain mental and physical flexibilty and strength, basically. I do wish it didn\’t take up so much of my mental energy, though. I don\’t know. It\’s a whole mess, in my brain, of guilt and privilege and expectations and all sorts of things that need to be sorted through.
The exercise thing, though… basically, if it\’s not a feel-good activity, I\’m not super into it. I like to walk with my husband on a beautiful day. I love to ride my bike for hours, as long a there\’s not crazy wind, which make me ragey. I love to feel strong in yoga class. I just have never really had it in me to exercise for exercise\’s sake.
Now, that said, I have a tendency toward sloth, and so I sometimes have to help myself out in the motivation department. So, I make sure to buy a yoga class pass that has an expiration date (monthly unlimited pass or something like that), knowing that I don\’t like to waste good money on something. Things like that.
This is an awesome post. Thanks for the links, too.
Doing fun things that just happen to also be a workout seems to be a theme in these comments. I am going to try to think about how to make that happen.
It sounds like you’re at a place where you feel like you can act on your own convictions, not what other people think you should do, & I find that very enviable. It’s tough to figure out when there is so much (conflicting) info out there.
i missed that post… where does it live? and/or see the thread i bumped.
I’ve come to believe that Health vs. Body Image is a constant battle. Sometimes I’m on the fitness bandwagon, feeling great about myself and the choices I’m making, and sometimes I just sit on my ass and feel really shitty (and/or ambivalent) about it.
I tried doing the gym thing. The Trent U. Gym was the least intimidating — I could easily find secluded areas of the change room and rarely felt ogled. Plus, the staff there were super helpful and showed me how to operate the fancy weight machines. The Wellness Centre is definitely more nerve-wracking — tiny change room, lots of super-fit dudes congregating around the weight area, fewer places to just set up and do your thing. But the swimming is cheap and really fun.
Ultimately, gym-ing it was too expensive for me. So I bought some weights and kettle bells and I built a bike. These are things I can stick with and feel good about. They make me feel stronger and more liberated, even if I don’t see physical changes in my body. Sometimes I still go swimming with my mom. It’s nice to have a buddy to share encouraging words with and talk about how tired we are after 5 laps.
I also bought some fun workout gear because, quite frankly, I’m more inclined to do something if I have a cute outfit to wear while doing it.
I found your Doing Femme post super interesting a while back and have been quietly appreciating your writing since, but in this one I feel like I’ve been in a similar place recently. I’ve found some stuff that works for me, but I’ll be interested in the comments here!
Me, I spent lots of the last year unemployed and without a stable routine. I found it difficult to think about introducing myself to new groups and places, for money reasons and for fear of shaming. So for a while I dealt with that and the fact I wasn’t being as active by getting out and running round my local area, ’cause I’ve always liked jogging as long as it’s at my own pace. When my trainers wore through and the weather got inhospitable, I really missed the exercise. I’ve always had too much latent hostility to gyms to want to get near one, and my cheapskate solution was to make up my own mini exercise routine by cannibalising some bits of gymnastics and circuit training and random other stuff I’d once learned and seeing if I’d be able to doing that every day.
That’s worked out really well for me. Having a simple, memorable 15-20 minute thing that I can do in the privacy of my bedroom means it’s not stressful and easy to make into a habit, especially once I found a good balance of difficult stuff to get better at and familiar sequences that won’t exhaust me. I liked that I got to measure myself by “I can do X much more easily after two weeks” and not “oh no I have a belly”. (Also, it turns out that it doesn’t take more than a couple of weeks of doing yoga and push-ups in the morning gives you noticeably toned upper arms, which can be pretty neat when mirrors have been making you think fat-shaming thoughts.)
So yeah, that worked for me! It also meant that once I got a job and emerged from Depressed Unemployed Hibernation I had some more physical confidence than I would have, and when I ended up deciding to go to a gym-place for a martial arts club I felt like there was less of a barrier than I would’ve without knowing I could exercise like I wanted on my own just fine.
I hope you find some ideas that work!
You’re awesome! I have avoided at-home exercise because I start out & after five minutes I’m remembering shit I need to do and all of a sudden I’m doing laundry instead of a workout, but maybe that is worth trying again.
Heh, I hear you on that one. And everyone’s suggestions are awesome, yay
If you or any commentator wants some unsolicted advice about motivation for Solitary Broke Exercise Times, though? I always get distracted from goals like “do 20 sit ups then then 20 squats etc” really easily, but I found that doing a longer and more dynamic thing just few times in a row keeps my attention on what I’m doing really well.
I only managed to get to three yoga lessons ever, but I remembered the sun salutation thingy I learned there, and doing that and then a few strength training-y exercises every day turned out to be a neat little sustainable kind of fitness goal for me. I think it’s because I’m giving myself more variables to work with; yoga stuff you can pay attention to moving between poses or to keeping really controlled breathing or very strict form or whatever, and picking exercises that challenge you a lot and gradually improving at them is neat.
I really love this post and shared it to my Timeline on FB. I don’t know you, but thank you for writing it. I think HAES gets the focus away from size, and more onto health, which is totally subjective and cannot be based on any quantifiable number, so thank you for writing insightfully about it. I would guess you have seen this, but, I’ll post the link anyway: http://diannesylvan.com/archives/1358
This comment turned really long, sorry about that. I don’t know what will work for anyone but myself, but some things I do to stay body positive, healthy, and generally loving myself.
I stopped looking at any blogs/sites/mags that promote being small. This meant blocking people on FB, TUMBLR, and Pinterest that promoted certain dieting and exercise tips (before and after photos) that encouraged people to be small, instead of healthy. I also do not use exercise as a reward system for eating, like oh, if you do this you can eat that, or if I eat this, then I’ll have to do that. Nope, that is self-destruction at its finest.
I stopped commenting on other people’s bodies. This is an obvious one, but seriously, it was something I had to do reflexive thin/attractive privilege work around. If I didn’t want others to comment on my body, and how “good” I looked, once able to exercise after multiple surgeries and medication issues, then I needed to stop commenting on other people’s bodies and attractiveness. This doesn’t mean dismissing people’s attractiveness, but it doesn’t need to be the first or only thing out of my mouth, and also finding critical ways of seeing different ways of doing/being attractive as beautiful is very empowering.
I started doing yoga–yoga that I thought was too hard for me, but I gradually became aware was actually not. Yoga allowed me to just be in my space, finding movement that worked for me, and take breaks when I wanted them, but also push myself when I needed to and when it felt good. I go with friends, with my partner, but I also found I really like going alone. And when my corporate, chain yoga studio (close to my house) had a couple teachers make fat-phobic comments in classes, I called them out on it, and told them they needed some serious sensitivity and privilege training. I continued to go there for awhile until I found a new place where they talk about how fabulous everyone’s bodies are because they are different. I try to go to free/donation classes as much as possible.
Do be careful with classes because you do not always get the personalized attention you need and could hurt yourself, like I did. I herniated a disc in my neck from lifting too heavy of weights in an exercise class at my university gym. I love classes, they motivate me and make me realize how focused I can be on myself, even in a room full of people, who are all worrying about themselves, but I am cautious about teachers who tell me to do things that my mind and body know are not safe for me, like inversions in yoga.
I worked with a personal trainer who was about empowerment through movement. I give her a lot of credit. She never measured or judged me, she helped me learn some tools so that I can exercise anywhere, on my own. A couple of sessions and I still do many of the exercises she taught me. If you do become healthier, and lose weight because of it, people will probably treat you differently (thin privilege in action), and may comment on your body more (and think it is somehow complimenting you,) and think you are judging them–and it can be psychologically draining to deal with. I think HAES would have helped me navigate those types of interactions more, and I am thankful I have found it now. Better late than never, I suppose.
Mostly, I just like to do movement that feels good and makes me feel less-stressed, stronger, and flexible. I swim, I walk my dog, I dance in the kitchen, I do stretches, and I work hard to not obsess. Thank you again for this post!
I really love this post and shared it to my Timeline on FB. I don’t know you, but thank you for writing it. I think HAES gets the focus away from size, and more onto health, which is totally subjective and cannot be based on any quantifiable number, so thank you for writing insightfully about it. I would guess you have seen this, but, I’ll post the link anyway: http://diannesylvan.com/archives/1358
This comment turned really long, sorry about that. I don’t know what will work for anyone but myself, but some things I do to stay body positive, healthy, and generally loving myself.
I stopped looking at any blogs/sites/mags that promote being small. This meant blocking people on FB, TUMBLR, and Pinterest that promoted certain dieting and exercise tips (before and after photos) that encouraged people to be small, instead of healthy. I also do not use exercise as a reward system for eating, like oh, if you do this you can eat that, or if I eat this, then I’ll have to do that. Nope, that is self-destruction at its finest.
I stopped commenting on other people’s bodies. This is an obvious one, but seriously, it was something I had to do reflexive thin/attractive privilege work around. If I didn’t want others to comment on my body, and how “good” I looked, once able to exercise after multiple surgeries and medication issues, then I needed to stop commenting on other people’s bodies and attractiveness. This doesn’t mean dismissing people’s attractiveness, but it doesn’t need to be the first or only thing out of my mouth, and also finding critical ways of seeing different ways of doing/being attractive as beautiful is very empowering.
I started doing yoga–yoga that I thought was too hard for me, but I gradually became aware was actually not. Yoga allowed me to just be in my space, finding movement that worked for me, and take breaks when I wanted them, but also push myself when I needed to and when it felt good. I go with friends, with my partner, but I also found I really like going alone. And when my corporate, chain yoga studio (close to my house) had a couple teachers make fat-phobic comments in classes, I called them out on it, and told them they needed some serious sensitivity and privilege training. I continued to go there for awhile until I found a new place where they talk about how fabulous everyone’s bodies are because they are different. I try to go to free/donation classes as much as possible.
Do be careful with classes because you do not always get the personalized attention you need and could hurt yourself, like I did. I herniated a disc in my neck from lifting too heavy of weights in an exercise class at my university gym. I love classes, they motivate me and make me realize how focused I can be on myself, even in a room full of people, who are all worrying about themselves, but I am cautious about teachers who tell me to do things that my mind and body know are not safe for me, like inversions in yoga.
I worked with a personal trainer who was about empowerment through movement. I give her a lot of credit. She never measured or judged me, she helped me learn some tools so that I can exercise anywhere, on my own. A couple of sessions and I still do many of the exercises she taught me. If you do become healthier, and lose weight because of it, people will probably treat you differently (thin privilege in action), and may comment on your body more (and think it is somehow complimenting you,) and think you are judging them–and it can be psychologically draining to deal with. I think HAES would have helped me navigate those types of interactions more, and I am thankful I have found it now. Better late than never, I suppose.
Mostly, I just like to do movement that feels good and makes me feel less-stressed, stronger, and flexible. I swim, I walk my dog, I dance in the kitchen, I do stretches, and I work hard to not obsess. Thank you!!
Kale. All the time. Basically a shit ton of vegetables. I try not to eat things like meat and bread. Not in a restrictive way but because once I have one slice of bread I WANT TO EAT ALL the bread – similar to your realization. Also I feel bad for the animals. So basically I eat a lot of roughage. Dog walks 2x daily. The occasional bike ride or run and I do 1 Pilates or Yoga class a week. I have no size/looks goals but also want to have marathon acrobatic sex. My partner is a pro athlete so I have to keep up. great post. Good luck finding your way.
Your post really echoes the way I feel about my body, too. I certainly don’t have the answers to your questions and I wish that I did. I too have gym anxieties. Even after learning to enjoy exercise I still have heart palpitations when I think about the weight room (which makes me feel bad because then I start thinking about the gendered spaces in the gym and how each space is built to structure the physicality of our bodies in a particular way). Anyway… it’s fucking hard being a lost chubster in work-out land.
However, about a year and a half ago I made a decision to learn what parts of working out work for me. I found out that:
a) Jumping rope is actually hilarious and just the best. Skipping ropes can be purchased at the dollar store and this activity can be carried out either alone or with friends in alley ways or school parking lots. Works best if you refer to yourself as a “skipster” and wear scrunchies.
b) I find running humiliating and I don’t have to do it if I don’t want to.
c) I should wear two push up bras and a tank top with a shelf bra. Apparently my jiggling boobs have hindered me for ages.
d) Never weigh myself. Ever. I will forever and always be size “awesome”.
e) My workout is improved if I wear a stupid t shirt with the sleeves cut off.
f) I’ll feel better about my workout if I push myself even just a little bit. Seeing improvement is actually pretty cool.
g) I needed to stop comparing myself with friends who were in “better shape” than I was.
h) Yoga is pretty fun for me, but it’s funner when combined with other strength exercises. YouTube taught me some good ones.
i) Pals who support me through a health kick without talking about my body size are my favourite people in the entire world. My best galpal was always so supportive in a totally non-condescending way. She is the best.
The part that I still struggle with the most is eating and over eating and being weird about eating all the food all the time. I eat like it’s going out of style. And while I am proud of the fact that when I challenge people to eating competitions I literally always win and that I can eat entire family sized bags of potato chips without batting an eye lash … I usually feel pretty weird about it after. While I find that living my life in a more active way is pretty doable altering the way I eat (without being obsessive about it and crossing into the “diet” territory) is really hard. Would love to learn more / hear more discussion of this as well. I like this video and the idea of Intuitive Eating (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR_Xwey2ph8&feature=youtu.be).
This jump rope thing might just be the ticket. & I think I will probably start using the phrase “Lost chubster in work-out land” regularly.
You’re right about weight room stuff & feeling intimidated in a way that is so obviously gendered makes me SO MAD but I haven’t yet been able to get over it. Women only gyms manage to be (in my exp) even more about shitty body shaming than places like the Y… I just want gentle, feminist weight training. Why isn’t that a thing?
Okay, well, thanks to Rachel, I now am very sad that I cannot jump rope with you all.
Hmm well here are a few thoughts:
- I have wasted so much money on gym memberships. I never have the time or energy to go and I end up making so many excuses NOT to go and it just makes me feel so bad about myself.
- Money wasted on gym memberships could have bought me an AMAZING bike, which is sad because biking is definitely the answer for me. My commutes to work are between 6 and 15km depending on where I’m working that day, which means a 25-50 minute bike ride through busy city streets. I get to work more energized than several coffees could ever make me, mentally stimulated from having dodged cars and pedestrians for the last half an hour or so. AND by the end of the day, I’ve saved $6 on transit and have exercised for 1-2 hours without even having to make extra time for it because my bike is as fast as the TTC. Hurray! Exercise done!
- Going running doesn’t mean you have to run half an hour all at once, or even in two parts. I HATE running, but I ran a number of times through the winter with friends from derby. We would run for two minutes, walk for one minute, repeat. It’s a heck of a lot easier than running in one long go, and you can adjust it to what works for you (ie shorter running times, or only 30 seconds rest time once you’ve built up your cardio capacity). You can also pick your terrain for more or less of a challenge (ie including hills or avoiding them). This was doable and that made me feel great, though it was definitely difficult to motivate myself to go. Plan to run with body positive friends! Knowing you’ll be taking lots of breaks and going at a pace that is okay for everyone makes it a heck of a lot less daunting.
I am bad in the food department. I try to make larger batches of food that I can freeze when I am motivated to actually make food – soup, veggie burgers, pasta sauce from scratch, healthy breakfast muffins. Also, having healthy snacks on hand and healthy breakfast foods I can make the night before (ie vegan refrigerator oatmeal) definitely help.
Haha I do commute to work by bike – it takes four minutes. Oh Ptbo.
I think I will try to turn my dog walk time into dog jogging time. I know Geraldine will be down, haha.
months ago, a block from my home some dudes drove by me and yelled out ‘hit the gym!’ – either those were their exact words or my mind manifested those them. Anyway, it stung and still does.
My exercise habits oscillate between ‘I am bummed, I am too stressed, I don’t have time’ to going everyday for three weeks and feeling good. I say don’t go to a gym at first – especially if it is a financial / emotional barrier (i have a gym in my building and still don’t go in when there are people in there, brutal). just go out and run, seriously. You won’t be able to do it at first and it will suck, but you will build up your ability and then feel amazing. just ignore the world, its for you not anyone else.
My sister started two years ago and it was so good for her, and so cool to see how she felt – she did a marathon (really slowly) but it was so awesome to see her just go out and do it. something i still struggle with.
Hit the gym? Really? I wish I had a stun gun for people who say that shit. You’re a total babe.
I feel like just knowing that I know cool people who exercise is really boosting my enthusiasm, even if nobody really has it figured out yet.
You are fantastic. Everyone is different and it takes a while for anyone to find something that suits them, especially when there is a black cloud over your head and coffee to be drunk and the internet to read. I’m a big believer in eating properly. So much of what we put in ourselves can be seen by the output of energy.. I’m not a major fan of gym exercise or running but I find it to painful on my joints so instead I try and get out for a really a good hour long walk morning and evening with the dog. DRINK LOTS OF WATER. Seriously. Two liters a day, shove some lemon in there. Wonders. Fill your house with nice (cheap) food, like couscous, quinoa and fruit and get a few simple recipes that dont take long to make so when your energy is down its not the biggest CHORE to cook, its easy and light and you feel better after. This site is great for recipes http://mynewroots.blogspot.ca/. And balance. Eat well for a few days, and exercise and then have a pint and some pizza and watch the tv and feel happy. xxxx
I have similar thoughts/worries? I really want to get in better shape, to improve my strength/endurance for derby and in general…but the whole intro thing at the gym I joined seemed to be super-focused on “toning” or losing weight, which isn’t my goal at all.
I really like this blog: http://fitandfeminist.wordpress.com for general feminism+athletics/fitness/media interesting stuff, as well as stumptuous.com for women’s weightlifting info that is definitely focused on building strength and muscle, not toning or getting smaller.
We should go to the gym together? I know how to use a bunch of the machines, and it’s women-only, so no bros. And then also we could be not-awkward and alone together in classes or something?
You have a goodlife membership right? I went for “orientation” there & oh man yeah, it was so fat shaming & they seem to assume that everyone wants a pretty ballerina body which is such a disincentive for me. & I dunno that I could afford to go there? If anything I’d do a Y thing because it has a much more diverse community feel and a pool & they can reduce your payment if you are a broke dbag like me. I should get you a guest pass & you can be my personal trainer. Someday…
I just found that fit and feminist blog while doing some digging for this post! I read back a few weeks & it looks so kickass.
Yeah, the orientation was basically the worst? I spent most of it.being all “uuuugggggghhhhh, I just want access to your weights & shit” in my head. But it is def. a bit pricey, I might have to put my membership on hold or sell it depending on my employment situation this fall…if that happens, I’m definitely looking into the Y
The Y has a hot tub. You should come to the Y with me.
I started writing a huge long response to your post last night, but then deleted it without posting.
The whole ‘doing physical things that you enjoy instead of exercising’ has worked really well for my partner. He spins poi (cloth balls on strings) and staff, and has taken to doing that every day instead of going to the gym. It’s worked really well for him.
I’m loving the jump-rope idea, and I’m thinking that I’m going to have to pick one up soon. I’ll jump rope while he’s spinning poi.
Like you, I’m a walker. I’m actually in training to walk a half-marathon in a couple of months with Team in Training (the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society fundraising/endurance sport training org), and it’s been really good – it’s a structured thing, in that I have a goal, and some accountability (because people are donating money for me to do this, which is different than when it’s my money being paid to a gym.) I’ve not been doing the group training thing, because the coach is a nutritionist and is all about weight loss, which wigs me out big-time, but even just doing the training walks on my own has been a huge deal. It’s also kinda awesome to say “Yeah, I’m training to do a half-marathon.”
There’s a woman who blogs at The Slow Fat Triathlete: http://theslowfattriathlete.blogspot.ca/ (who also wrote a book by the same name) I recall that the book was kinda awesome, although it’s been a while since I read it, and I haven’t followed the blog. The book was one of the inspirations for me doing my first half marathons 5 years ago.
Heya
I don’t think you can body shame anyone else by doing what you want to do. I think it’s probably more when you start preaching to others about it. Julia’s friend Teresa (you probably know her too) always struck me as a really cool example of this, because I remember her talking about going to the gym to get strong and kick ass, and I feel that’s fair enough.
I guess the things I have really liked in the past are exercise videos (I hate stupid expensive gyms that are full of boring things and germs and take extra time to go to AND from and also I find the guys in the weight section to be boring). I specifically enjoy Jane Fonda’s “Jane Fonda Collection: The Complete Workout & Stress Reduction Program” which has a super ridiculous fun aerobic part that’s nearly an hour but I promise you will never get tired of (there are moves called “the pony” and you get to pretend to be a cowgirl) and also a deep breathing part. I literally did it as my only exercise all of my final year at Trent (usually in my underpants) and definitely found it helpful. Plus, you can do it in a really, really, really small space. Of course I guess historically aerobics are predicated on the idea that you want to lose weight but I don’t remember her saying anything about that really but finding the stretching and toning bit really did a lot for my core and leg strength. More importantly, it is so silly and eighties that it is really hard to be stressed out while you are doing it. I did it almost entirely for the stress relief while I was completing my thesis with a supervisor who wasn’t very nice to me and it worked every time.
I also (and this isn’t for everyone) LOVE kickboxing. I love it. I do it for fun, and i have done for years. It’s really really hard, but I love that I am getting stronger every time. I go to a mixed class and I love seeing the faces on guys (or fitter-looking girls) when I hit their pads the first time. I am so pleased to be stronger than I’ve ever been and to be able to hit the floor and bash out pushups like it’s nothing. I was at my class today, and this girl was like “have you lost weight since you’ve been coming?” and I was like “I dunno, I never weigh myself, I think it’s pointless” and then did eight minutes straight of crunches/punching. I have managed to recruit a variety of people of all shapes, sizes and ability to my class because it is fun and empowering, and if you used to do modern dance, you probably have the coordination for it (I used to do modern and jazz dance too). Plus, I notice getting a lot stronger and better every time and it’s not boring and repetitive like I feel running can be, and you can kind of work at your own level.
OK I just realised how long this post is. Sorry!
Hey, so I love this post.
I am also trying to start getting more healthy via exercise right now, mostly because (a) I’m really ashamed/alarmed that I get winded after a few flights of stairs, (b) exercise now reduces the likelihood of dementia in later life, and (c) it’s scary that on my Mon-Fri, I for sure spend 80%+ of my waking hours sitting.
I have some privileges in having a decent gym in my apartment building, and having a body shape that is frequently read as meaning I am healthy. Because I’m also someone that has generally hated purposeful exercise / gyms, I’m sorry but I don’t have a lot of enthusiastic suggestions for you. Other than what others have said around finding a form of fun that is physically active, like sports and bicycling.
I can be more enthusiastic and maybe even helpful around food. I like food, and find the choosing, preparing, and eating of healthy foods to be empowering. I like putting things that are yummy and healthy into my body and knowing that it makes me stronger and healthier. It makes me feel that I am actively placing a higher value on my health and wellbeing. (I also still eat a fair bit of not-great stuff. As in, there is a chocolate bar wrapper right next to the computer) I used to feel like cooking was 100% chore, 0% fun, but since I started actually choosing recipes that are more challenging it has become more fun. I still find making a stir-fry or pasta a chore, but if I’m making a lentil-tomato-carrot stew, or a broccoli-walnut pesto pasta, it is more fun. Oh, on that note, lentils are super cheap, healthy, filling, and can be incorporated into lots of foods.
And I like this line – “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”
I know that the ‘not too much’ can be used to fat-shame, but I think it can also be used to just keep us in check on reasonable portion sizes. There is no good reason that I always want to get the giant burrito that is much bigger than my unstretched-stomach size, and makes me feel uncomfortably full and sluggish after.
Stuff:
For-your-head resource, which I orig got from queer fat femme. It’s such a beautiful, thoughtful post: http://missfist.blogspot.ca/2012/02/how-i-learned-to-eat-greens.html
Practical resource: http://www.101cookbooks.com/
BLARGH. I just wrote a fairly lengthy post and then it got deleted when I went to reset my WordPress password.
So I’ll just leave you with these 2 links that I like.
http://missfist.blogspot.ca/2012/02/how-i-learned-to-eat-greens.html
http://www.101cookbooks.com/
Nope! Your post is still there – everyone’s first few comments are moderated just for spam/troll reasons.
Hey dude. I’m glad I read this carefully today.
Today I had a “fuck this shit” moment in a changeroom when I couldn’t fit into a 12 anymore and nearly cried.
Here’s the stupid behind that — I’m SO happy these days, I’ve found myself back in fat happy mode… but then my clothes don’t fit and I don’t feel as sexy as my man tells me I am.
I’m loved. I’m happy. But the chub is bugging me… and I don’t know how to feel better about that without shaming myself into getting skinnier.
I think I’m stuck. I think I’m worried.
i’ve never been fat-identified, but i think it’s important to allow yourself a discernment from fat-hate, and dealing with a change. i think you look great, des, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to you feeling like you look good. some days i put on an outfit and my back or my boobs, or some combination of both feel off and out of balance, and then i just throw my arms up and put on something more androgynous so i don’t have to feel the fear of being examined and my femme anxiety coming out.
try to remember that those sizing numbers on clothes are a small part of the network of labels and definition that we are so familiar with locating ourselves on the map of. its not made to make you comfortable all the time- its made from a mould, unlike you
Thank you so much for this post. I started heavily exercising four months ago, because I wanted to be more fit for my horse. I was 270 at the time, and, although I kept repeating the mantra of health over weight, I quickly became obsessed with my weight. I would tell myself that it didn’t matter, but if my weight went up, which it did in the beginning, I was incredibly upset.
I am currently at 255, but I feel so much more fit. I do cardio six days a week, and lift weights 2-3 times a week. I try to keep my food portions reasonable, vaguely striving for 2000-2500 calories, without being too specific about it. The best part is that after hitting the plateau of my current weight, I have finally stopped caring. This is where I am, and this is where I want to be.
What worked for me: Joining a gym, and joining a program at the gym (Fitlinxx at the YMCA) that allowed me to track my workouts. The Y posts the a list of the people who earn the most points in the program every month, and striving to get on that list was so motivating. I first made it in May, and I’ve been on every month since. Besides doing the elliptical at the gym, I also ride horses, bikes, and work out with Richard Simmons in my basement. I aquacize with other fat ladies at the gym.
What did not work: I actually joined the gym back in October, but it wasn’t until I joined the Fitlinxx program in April that I really went regularly. Food is still a big challenge. I can control my portion sizes, but I still overeat on occasion, and, being a terrible cook who was raised on processed food, I can’t cook a healthy meal. My veggie and fruit intake is horrifyingly low, and I exist mostly on carbs. Fixing that is still too big a hurtle for me.